Sewing and Creating in 2020

Welcome back creative mojo!  For a couple of years you were missing from my life.  It's been so long since I've regularly blogged, that I'm not sure anyone will ever read this.  That's ok.  I'm coming back to blogging for the reasons I started this blog.  It is a virtual "scrapbook" of my creative journey that I hope will inspire others to find their own creative joy.  Creating was always such a blessing in my life and I wanted to share that blessing with others... so... why did I stop?

1. Design team work became WORK.  The ideas weren't flowing.  Nothing felt new & fresh.  My work started to be something I would agonize over finishing and meeting deadlines.  Instead of feeling creative, I felt like I was doing a job.   Creating stopped giving me energy and started draining me.  I knew it was time to take a step back.  My plan was 3 months... things didn't go as planned.

2. Loss-Death.  In 9 months I lost 5 family members and a friend.  It started in the Summer of 2016 when we had to put our beloved dog, Maximus, to sleep.  Then in the Fall of 2016 my uncle didn't wake up one morning and the losses kept going until the Spring of 2017 when my grandma passed away just before my birthday.    That much death in a short period of time affected me deeply.  Since cardmaking had become a job, quilting had been my stress-relief.  It still brought me joy and I would often sew to clear my head and get ideas flowing.  The problem is that the last 2 quilts I had quilted were for my grandma and my Aunt (who passed away just weeks after being diagnosed with cancer and a month before my grandma passed).  Aunt Cathy passed so quickly that I wasn't able to give her the quilt I made her.  In fact, I finished tacking down the last stitch on the binding the morning she died. Every time I tried to sew after that I would find remnants of these 2 quilts in my room. A scrap I was using as a leader, leftover blocks on the design wall, scraps in the trash can and thread catcher, scraps in my stash.  It hit me harder than I would have imagined.  The only sewing I did was to fulfill my prior obligations to Do Good Stitches and the SSMQG.  Again, that felt more like work than creative joy.

My Aunt sleeping under the quilts she had made with her kitty keeping watch over her.  It wasn't until just before she passed that I discovered we shared a love of quilting. 

One of the hardest days was going with mom (and dad) to pick up my Uncles ashes.  We buried him with my grandma when she passed away 7 months later.

Grandma started going downhill fast in the Spring.  Mom caught her napping under the quilt I made her and took a picture to share with me.  It brought me comfort knowing my quilt was with her when I couldn't be.

So, I shut the door to my sewing room.  I only went out to the hobby room when I needed to make a birthday or sympathy card, but I always tried to find something in my card stash first so I wouldn't have to make one.  It would take me hours to make something I should have been able to make in under 30 minutes.   Making things was a big part of my life.  How did I fill those spaces?  In 2018 my "baby" graduated high school.  Senior year took up LOADS of time, and brought it's own kind of grief.  I spent time in 2019 on a Keto diet.  Learning how to meal plan, prep, shop and cook took a good deal of time in the Fall of 2018 and into 2019.  The upside is my hubby and I both lost a lot of weight!  I was very involved in volunteer work for our car club.  I started going back to Bible study last Spring and I worked on our yard over the summer.  In short... I had to take time to mourn before I could heal.

Letting go of balloons at the cemetery after Aunt Cathy passed away.

What brought me back?  Honestly, it was Let's Make Art.  I found their videos on Facebook, and decided to give the subscription box a try.  I figured if I liked it, I could continue, if not I could cancel.  I LOVED it!  I've never been able to watercolor images before, but I love the look of watercolor backgrounds on my cards.  This opened up a whole new creative medium for me.  Each week I got better.  That alone made me want to create more.

Soon after that I took part in the 100 days of creativity challenge.  You may have seen some of these pictures on the blog.  That was another spark to my creativity.  I didn't always post something, but I did start (almost) daily creating.  

I tried my hand at crocheting.  Youtube is an amazing resource for any kind of tutorial.  After making a couple of projects, I moved on.  There may be a time I pick this up again because I like having something to do with my hands while sitting, but it didn't spark a ton of joy for me.

From there I picked up cross stitching again. It gave me something to do with my hands while watching TV in the evenings with my husband.  I can't wait to share this finish with you.  I need to pick up another pattern to work on for when I don't have a quilt to bind.

I changed the colors slightly from the original pattern. My plan is to frame it and hang it in my sewing room.

Sew She Did pattern by Lori Holt

I ran into a friend from my quilt guild that I hadn't seen since I stopped going to guild meetings.  (why go, when you can't even open the door to your sewing room because of grief).  It was just outside a quilt shop in Westport, WA.  Serendipitous.  I decided to go back to a guild meeting after seeing her and that is where I found out about the sew powerful purse project from Patti.  THIS jumpstarted my sewing mojo into hyperdrive.  It felt so good to make something for these girls who have so little.  Focusing on them made ALL the difference.

I also started watching more youtube videos and found my love for sewing/quilting again.   Creating has again become a source of healing & joy.  Every day I feel more overwhelmed by a desire to create than by the sense of deep loss.  I made some cards & prayer cards for my bible study ladies in the Fall. Again, my focus was on making something for them and THAT brought me a sense of peace & comfort.

 

So, here I am with at least 2 months worth of content to share on my blog.  Does anyone still visit blogs?  I don't know.  If nothing else I will have a virtual record of my creative work for 2020.  My hope though is that I can again inspire you to find what creative thing(s) set your soul on fire and bring you joy.  If the past 2 weeks are any indication, 2020 is going to be a CREATIVE year.

Blessings,
Heather